MOLDING YOURSELF INTO A GYM JOCK.

Doyle doing coffin shrugs.

If you are like me in anyway you did not play sports as a teenager. The idea of playing organized sports made you want to puke. You mean dudes got together to do more hard work after a full school day and willingly gave up their weekends to travel to towns no ones heard of and do the same thing?! fuuuuck that. I want to do kickflips, fingerbang girls in movie theaters, work a Dominos pizza and have my own money, play punk rock music with my friends, get outta school so I can go home to watch Worlds Scariest Police Chases while I take a nap on the couch. I did play and enjoy soccer from the age of 5 till 16 but when it was time to pick a side I had different priorities. No coincidence that my dropout in athletics was timed with my spike in puberty.

I can tell you right now sports didn't even make the top 15. While I harbor no regrets from my high school/early 20's "anti-jock" lifestyle I do realize the err of my ways now. Sports help mold a child/teenager/man into a stronger person both physically and mentally. Teaching about pushing yourself, discipline, commitment, teamwork and most importantly THE WEIGHT ROOM. I was Beta for most of my life. I mean painfully Beta. Most of us have outgrown our beta shell and abandoned it on the sands of Be-A-Man Beach but there was a time were even the baddest dude on Earth didnt know who he was. I was vegan (for all the wrong reasons), I listened to emotional music about girls and lost love, girls made me cry, I would send 10 too many text messages to girls, I was the guy who said "what do you you want me to do or be? ILL DO IT! just tell me!" I had no interest long term goals, no career path, no expectations. I quit every job by no call, no show, I never finished anything all the way through. I just worked shitty low paying jobs, drank diet soda, and was into long distance running.

your face after you finish reading that.

Im not charging all of that beta-ness to lack of sports into my life but I have to think If I had the introduction early on like most high school jocks do then my foundation would be primed for better form and gains much sooner than now. I had zero knowledge of all things weightlifting related. I mean nothing. I had no jock friends. I didn't know a soul who was in shape. It just wasn't plugged in. Wasn't the company I kept.

The guys who have been playing school sports at an early age have a clear advantage in the weight room. They may not even realize it but their bodies are already conditioned for the squat rack and the bench press. They just have that natural thickness They have been doing so many similar punishing exercises and drills for years. They were bred in the habitat of iron, grunts, ass slaps, hi-fives, headbutts, generic statements of encouragement (i.e you got this! lets go!), injuries, cramps, motivational speeches, and "take a knee" huddles.

"bring it in boys... Miller Lite and Barbell Lunges on 3. 1,2,3...."

So for whatever reason when I was 24 and started taking an interest in getting strong I was on my own. A frail, wet, and wide eyed baby deer wandering out of the forest of Skinny Fat. If you are reading this and were like me here is what I did to get on track to the gains.

First thing....I got a gym membership to LA Fitness. It was cheap and they gave me a discount for working next door at the restaurant Shorty's in Decatur GA. I had no idea what I was doing but I knew what I wanted to look like. So I watched every dude in the gym who was ripped and took note of the exercises they were doing. I wrote it down and next time I was in there I tried it. Some exercises were advanced and I biffed them hard. Others were do able and I built off that. I would buy a large black coffee and go to Borders (RIP) and read fitness magazines for hours. Trying to learn everything I could about eating, exercises, muscles, etc. It was a lot of fun. I began watching sports and getting into they lifestyle the athletes maintained. It was tough and I got my ass kicked but It got me out of my comfort zone and toughened me up a bit. Basketball games on Saturday morning with my co-workers, soccer games after work, softball with my neighbors. These were baby steps but it did wonders for my confidence.

What I am getting at is I never stopped learning. Always on the hunt for new techniques and food, learning and teaching myself, trial and error. Its a process that is still ongoing today. Its a great feeling to know that every year in my life I have been moving up. Always better than the previous year. I haven't peaked. No matter how outta shape you are or how weak you think you are dont loose sight of the mentality that you will always be better and stronger next month or next year. It is an eternal source of motivation if you are on the up. As long as you willing to push then you will see better results as time goes on. never be complacent with your routine or training.

This video is everything I love about weightlifting in sports in one 4 min shot. Dudes with thick necks and thicker thighs sweating. These workouts in here are fun. I am always jerking off rugby on this blog because It is exactly what I expect from weightlifters. speed, size, strength, and brotherhood. Its in line with every discipline I preach.

MOTHER FUCKING DANZIG! The first and original anti-jock turned buff dude. I cant stress enough how much an impact Danzig has had on my decision to get huge. This is a man I still model myself after (aside from the douche baggy attitude). He embraced the dark arts and the iron weights. Made it cool to be a metal head with sweet pump. Nothing is cooler than seeing a dude wearing black leather and no shirt headbanging on stage like some mythic God from the underworld. we lift his name on high. I am still a little disappointed that few metal have carried his torch. We could use another fitness icon in the metal world badly. I know we got Brandon from Bleeding Through doing his awesome Rise Above fitness gig. But hes still not as evil as I would like. Hes kinda like the cool tattooed guy who likes good music instead of the "Satan of Weightliftn'". If you are reading this and know of a band or person doing this PLEASE GET IN TOUCH WITH ME! IG: thereisnogod Facebook: www.facebook.com/firstofthegangtodie

Ignore the cheese camera zooms, generic "hard rock" instrumental track they bought for 10 bucks, and the offensive pull-ups and take not of this punishing workout. Highly recommended for poor dudes who want to get in shape. no gym needed for this monster workout. Dedicated to LT. Michael Murphy PL for the SEAL team during Operation Redwings who gave the ultimate sacrifice in the mountains of Afghanistan. If you have seen Lone Survivor than you already know. If you haven't seen it then re-evaluate your priorities and watch it time now. 

1 mile run

100 pull ups

200 push ups

300 squats

1 mile run

while wearing 30lb vest.

In regards to infrequent updates I do this on purpose. I don't want to overload my blog with information and have some of these ideas or observations go unnoticed. If you show this to a friend the entries serve as chapters to a book that you can go back and reference. They are meant to stand the test of time and not be a hot topic or buzz issue. So I will maintain this but with quality over quantity. 

born to die. trained to kill. prepared to die. but never will.

STAY GRIM AND HIT THE GYM.