MOLDING YOURSELF INTO A GYM JOCK.

Doyle doing coffin shrugs.

If you are like me in anyway you did not play sports as a teenager. The idea of playing organized sports made you want to puke. You mean dudes got together to do more hard work after a full school day and willingly gave up their weekends to travel to towns no ones heard of and do the same thing?! fuuuuck that. I want to do kickflips, fingerbang girls in movie theaters, work a Dominos pizza and have my own money, play punk rock music with my friends, get outta school so I can go home to watch Worlds Scariest Police Chases while I take a nap on the couch. I did play and enjoy soccer from the age of 5 till 16 but when it was time to pick a side I had different priorities. No coincidence that my dropout in athletics was timed with my spike in puberty.

I can tell you right now sports didn't even make the top 15. While I harbor no regrets from my high school/early 20's "anti-jock" lifestyle I do realize the err of my ways now. Sports help mold a child/teenager/man into a stronger person both physically and mentally. Teaching about pushing yourself, discipline, commitment, teamwork and most importantly THE WEIGHT ROOM. I was Beta for most of my life. I mean painfully Beta. Most of us have outgrown our beta shell and abandoned it on the sands of Be-A-Man Beach but there was a time were even the baddest dude on Earth didnt know who he was. I was vegan (for all the wrong reasons), I listened to emotional music about girls and lost love, girls made me cry, I would send 10 too many text messages to girls, I was the guy who said "what do you you want me to do or be? ILL DO IT! just tell me!" I had no interest long term goals, no career path, no expectations. I quit every job by no call, no show, I never finished anything all the way through. I just worked shitty low paying jobs, drank diet soda, and was into long distance running.

your face after you finish reading that.

Im not charging all of that beta-ness to lack of sports into my life but I have to think If I had the introduction early on like most high school jocks do then my foundation would be primed for better form and gains much sooner than now. I had zero knowledge of all things weightlifting related. I mean nothing. I had no jock friends. I didn't know a soul who was in shape. It just wasn't plugged in. Wasn't the company I kept.

The guys who have been playing school sports at an early age have a clear advantage in the weight room. They may not even realize it but their bodies are already conditioned for the squat rack and the bench press. They just have that natural thickness They have been doing so many similar punishing exercises and drills for years. They were bred in the habitat of iron, grunts, ass slaps, hi-fives, headbutts, generic statements of encouragement (i.e you got this! lets go!), injuries, cramps, motivational speeches, and "take a knee" huddles.

"bring it in boys... Miller Lite and Barbell Lunges on 3. 1,2,3...."

So for whatever reason when I was 24 and started taking an interest in getting strong I was on my own. A frail, wet, and wide eyed baby deer wandering out of the forest of Skinny Fat. If you are reading this and were like me here is what I did to get on track to the gains.

First thing....I got a gym membership to LA Fitness. It was cheap and they gave me a discount for working next door at the restaurant Shorty's in Decatur GA. I had no idea what I was doing but I knew what I wanted to look like. So I watched every dude in the gym who was ripped and took note of the exercises they were doing. I wrote it down and next time I was in there I tried it. Some exercises were advanced and I biffed them hard. Others were do able and I built off that. I would buy a large black coffee and go to Borders (RIP) and read fitness magazines for hours. Trying to learn everything I could about eating, exercises, muscles, etc. It was a lot of fun. I began watching sports and getting into they lifestyle the athletes maintained. It was tough and I got my ass kicked but It got me out of my comfort zone and toughened me up a bit. Basketball games on Saturday morning with my co-workers, soccer games after work, softball with my neighbors. These were baby steps but it did wonders for my confidence.

What I am getting at is I never stopped learning. Always on the hunt for new techniques and food, learning and teaching myself, trial and error. Its a process that is still ongoing today. Its a great feeling to know that every year in my life I have been moving up. Always better than the previous year. I haven't peaked. No matter how outta shape you are or how weak you think you are dont loose sight of the mentality that you will always be better and stronger next month or next year. It is an eternal source of motivation if you are on the up. As long as you willing to push then you will see better results as time goes on. never be complacent with your routine or training.

This video is everything I love about weightlifting in sports in one 4 min shot. Dudes with thick necks and thicker thighs sweating. These workouts in here are fun. I am always jerking off rugby on this blog because It is exactly what I expect from weightlifters. speed, size, strength, and brotherhood. Its in line with every discipline I preach.

MOTHER FUCKING DANZIG! The first and original anti-jock turned buff dude. I cant stress enough how much an impact Danzig has had on my decision to get huge. This is a man I still model myself after (aside from the douche baggy attitude). He embraced the dark arts and the iron weights. Made it cool to be a metal head with sweet pump. Nothing is cooler than seeing a dude wearing black leather and no shirt headbanging on stage like some mythic God from the underworld. we lift his name on high. I am still a little disappointed that few metal have carried his torch. We could use another fitness icon in the metal world badly. I know we got Brandon from Bleeding Through doing his awesome Rise Above fitness gig. But hes still not as evil as I would like. Hes kinda like the cool tattooed guy who likes good music instead of the "Satan of Weightliftn'". If you are reading this and know of a band or person doing this PLEASE GET IN TOUCH WITH ME! IG: thereisnogod Facebook: www.facebook.com/firstofthegangtodie

Ignore the cheese camera zooms, generic "hard rock" instrumental track they bought for 10 bucks, and the offensive pull-ups and take not of this punishing workout. Highly recommended for poor dudes who want to get in shape. no gym needed for this monster workout. Dedicated to LT. Michael Murphy PL for the SEAL team during Operation Redwings who gave the ultimate sacrifice in the mountains of Afghanistan. If you have seen Lone Survivor than you already know. If you haven't seen it then re-evaluate your priorities and watch it time now. 

1 mile run

100 pull ups

200 push ups

300 squats

1 mile run

while wearing 30lb vest.

In regards to infrequent updates I do this on purpose. I don't want to overload my blog with information and have some of these ideas or observations go unnoticed. If you show this to a friend the entries serve as chapters to a book that you can go back and reference. They are meant to stand the test of time and not be a hot topic or buzz issue. So I will maintain this but with quality over quantity. 

born to die. trained to kill. prepared to die. but never will.

STAY GRIM AND HIT THE GYM.

FOOD CHAIN

Being on the top of the food chain affords us humans many opportunities. To me there is nothing more dominate than saying “I have made it to the top. I choose where to live, what to eat, and who to mate with.” A very simple yet powerful mindset rooted in all of us. In that regard, choosing to be a vegan or vegetarian is pretty empowering. I mean you are literally saying fuck you to planet earth. I am so dominate that I CHOOSE not to eat or use animal products. Generations of humans have worked hard to put humans on the top and now you are so far above all life that you don’t even need animals anymore. You gotta respect that even if it is not in line with the Alpha male primal focus this blog promotes.

Granted being vegan is a first world luxury and is only something that has become a feasible option in the last 100 years or so. Forgive me; I am not too familiar with the vegan movement of the Upper Paleolithic era circa 40,000 BC. You’ll be hard pressed to find a vegan in Syria. Just having the option to not eat certain foods from a moral or ethical stand point is pretty advanced. I have witnessed utter poverty first hand. Kids crapping in the front “yard” and using their left hand to wipe their ass, eating their dogs, having sex with sheep, adults using the roof of their mud hut as a bathroom so the smell lingers up and out with the wind, women fist fighting for kernels of corn etc… These people are only concerned with one thing…staying alive. They eat whatever they can, whenever they can. Fuck, they will eat you if they have to. Trying to describe veganism to an Afghan is on the same level as watching a cat with no legs bury a turd on a frozen pond.

not vegan but Paleo?

(This will become relevant momentarily, bare with me.)

Ask any number of serious weightlifters about working out and you will generally get the same response. It’s all we care about. It is life. It takes priority over everything and almost everyone. Your entire mindset forever changes. You start measuring your day in proteins and fats, when you eat next, how much sleep you will need, when you next workout is and what it will be. You wake up and your entire day is almost a ritual into your lift for the day. Things painstakingly planned out around your schedule as best as possible. You will avoid things that might impair your lift i.e. some buddies getting together to play football because you are afraid you might pull a muscle or take a hit that will affect your workout. Sounds sissy but it’s often times the case. 

Like I have said in previous posts weightlifting is sadistic. Sadism can be seen by some as selfishness. “I know what I want; I will do it to myself to get the pleasure no matter how much it hurts. I will feel no remorse for my intent.” (test boost +10 after typing that) This is why people who turn their bodies into chiseled slabs of wood are perceived as vain or shallow because it becomes the primary focus of life. Dangerous? Yes. Are there D-Bags ruining the environment and attitude of our fitness culture? HELL YES. (I will leave it to your discretion to judge if I may be one of those.) But the ultimate sadistic nature of weightlifting cannot be ignored. What I want and need take precedence over everything else. So now that I have rightfully praised the idea and principles of Veganism I can feel no guilt when stating that veganism simply just does not fit into the lifestyle of a serious weightlifter. (DISCLAIMER: nothing but extreme respect for vegans. It requires great discipline and passion to live that lifestyle. Do you.)

Weight lifting requires a fierce commitment. You have to eat and work like an animal to achieve the said “gains”. Us weightlifters do both. We eat what we have to and lift what we have to in order to be the best. If you are consciously avoiding a tool that will unlock greater strength, energy, and size for moral or ethical reasons then you are not committed to becoming a truly dominate force in the gym. You are placing others in front of yourself. While that is a very noble thing it does not allow you to be the strongest person possible. If you are set on weightlifting and being vegan more power to you (you will need all the power you can get lol) but when everyone passes you in PR’s, size, energy, and skill don’t cry. There are plenty of plants and animals out there that will be mirin’ your gains.

I won’t praise the merits of vegan weightlifting but I am not going to shit on you because you are one. It should go without saying that I would rather you be concerned with your physical fitness and well being then be a flabby, odd shaped lump. I just find it incredibly baffling that someone so concerned with their appearance and muscular development could be so defiant in the face of things proven to give you what you have been working so hard for. I see a die-hard vegan lifter and all I can think to myself is “if only this person would take the next step into the gains lifestyle. They could dominate. *Le sigh*

"YOU CAN WEIGHT LIFT AND BE VEGAN, ASSHOLE!" - trustXVXdust

As a recovering vegan I speak from experience. I was vegan and vegetarian for 6+ years. I took an activate interest in my health after 4 years worth of white bread, Clif bars, and candy. Naturally weightlifting came into play. I enjoyed working out and being vegetarian at the same time. But then a line in the sand was drawn. The Lords of Iron spoke to me in my sleep one night and said “Adam. You have come as far as you can in your journey of gains. You must give yourself fully to us or be condemned to a life of mediocre muscle gains and size small t shirts.” I was awakened. That very night I was baptized into the Brotherhood of Protein. I gave myself fully to the almighty. HE HAS RISEN! I ate all the eggs and sushi in sight and never looked back. In 5 years time I went from 175lbs to 225lbs.

that moment when a "Fence Walker" makes the commitment to get huge.

Eating well and lifting hard. COMMIT TO BOTH. That’s what we do. Doing one or the other is called “Fence Walking” and will only get your ego jerked off for a few months. People will notice the changes in you and compliment you. They will be impressed and may even find themselves with muscle envy. You must strike quick once this phase has begun. You cannot linger in this here for too long. Granted there is a larger window in this phase for idling then others down the road but you want to move up in the long run. Rule of thumb: a year is usually the limit in this phase because after a while you will plateau and people will stop noticing your gains. You will drift into the “oh yeah that guy works out” zone instead of the “that dudes a fucking beast” zone. The “oh yeah that guy works out” zone is something to be avoided AT ALL COSTS! It is the Friendzone of weightlifting.

Are you ready to do whatever it takes to build yourself to be the biggest, baddest, strongest mother fucker in the gym? I know you are. You have made it this far. Then fuck your morals and ethics. Consume. Build. Annihilate. Enjoy your life on the top of the food chain. Pay respect to your ancestors by graciously consuming what they worked so hard to provide. Don’t let anything stand in your way of becoming what you want.

 

 

 

 

 

S`*CK IT!

 

 

STAY GRIM AND HIT THE GYM

HIDDEN UNDER THE SKIN

GRAVE - Unrestrained. the album is "Hating Life" and there isn't a bad track on the whole thing but jam this track at the 1:44 mark and tell me you aren't Nu-metal kicking/push moshing Wes Borland style on the towel boy at Planet Fitness . juggernaut style.

Oi! ima bash heez fuckin skull in well proper.

 SHOT IN THE NECK. STILL SHOOTS BACK. 

 next time you think you're hard or feeling gassed and don't wanna hit the weights read this shit. should light a fire under your ass. British soldier gets shot in the fucking neck and holds his position on the rooftop for 90 minutes returning fire while a medic stuffed his wound until he got air lifted outta there. god damn thats good stuff. gives me a murder boner. KILL EM ALL! good on ya bloke.

I spent the last two days on rest. not moving much, watching hockey, having some drinks, getting tattooed, sleeping in every morning and trying to eat a lot of food. Rest days are much fun for me. I always time them to fall on the weekends because it truly gives me a full day to myself. no work or gym commitments. I can do as much or as little as possible. its incredibly refreshing both physically and mentally.

This afternoon im back into the gym to knock out bench press, abs, and squats. I realize that today is international chest day but if I go in the afternoon I suspect I will miss the after work pump rush. There are few things as satisfying as a great chest pump amirite? when it all comes together so well, you don't strain anything and the blood flow is just outta control. you're movin that big weight and clankin plates. every angle you look at yourself in the mirror has you looking like a gorilla juicehead. its just a recipe for a good day.

 SVARTTJERN. random track off their new album that came out a few months ago. been a big fan of this band for a few years. their take on black metal is fast as fuck and groove laden. they are like a catchier Behemoth. "SATANIC SACRIFICE!"

I had this idea for a workout and did some research on it. found a lot of things kinda similar but nothing exact. I want to get some photos or video of me doing this workout maybe this coming weekend. If anybody wants to give it a try let me know. This is a like a poor guys workout but I like it because its so functional and just raw spirited. plus there is a high chance for some blood to be spilled which always makes things more interesting.

grab some cinder blocks, an axe or sledge hammer, some work boots, a weighted vest.

wearing your boots, weighted vest, and of course ranger panties:

take a stack of cinder blocks and one by one as fast as you can move them about 25 ft and re-stack them.

spend 5 mins. alternating hands chopping on tree or stump with your axe or hammer,  

grab two cinder block at a time and lunge the 25 feet back to where you started carrying your cinderblock and re-stack them.

spend another 5 minutes with the axe doing overhead chops on a stump or fallen tree.

Its just an idea im toying with. some other weighted movements could be thrown in there. Im up for suggestions. This workout would be called "Primal Concrete Sledge" and its something you could do when you vist your parents boring house for the weekend and are far away from your gym. Also really good to change the scenery and give yourself a mental fuck. take you outta your comfort zone. who are we kidding though. any excuse to lift with your shirt off in boots is simply beast.

 of course the mandatory song for this workout would be Pantera's "Primal Concrete Sledge"

outtake from my photo shoot last night. working on a new site design and sticker and t-shirts.

stay grim and hit the gym.

LIMBS OF WORSHIP

hey son. lets sit down and talk about life....im proud of you.

 

a TRUE weight lifter is a father and his muscles are his children. hes been with them since they were born and has enjoyed watching them grow from soft little beta nuggets to ripened, veiny men. hes put in the hard work that most people don't see. he sacrificed his free time and social life raising them, teaching them, coaching them. the father does his best to not favor any one child making sure they all know they are special and loved equally. the father knows he doesn't get the credit which he deserves but is content knowing that he did his best and now the muscles he once knew are men of their own.

I like to think of any man into fitness culture and health in this light but the fact is most of the men are like step-fathers. They have their own children (biceps) whom they love and adore. they have spent hard time and effort into creating a strong, intelligent child. then the father meets someone special and marries a partner that have children of their own (legs/back). he does his best to raise the other children who are not his but naturally he shows favoritism and biais to his own blood. He takes extra interest in his children because they were there from the beginning.

GOD DAMMIT LEGS! Im not your real father!

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Each child has special needs that are unique and need to be met. But it can easily spiral out of control and before you know it you are left with one honor roll college graduate football star and one "free spirit" that is on their 6 year of art school majoring in architectural interior design studies of the 18th century. another child who is a high school dropout working part time at a record store/coffee shop/poetry center and living on a co-op 14 other people who are "in a band".

Every lifter had their strong suit. they have their one body part that they get hard for. its natural. you wanna play to your strengths. for me its my back. I love back day and all exercises attached to it. lat pull downs, bent over rows, reverse flys, weighted pull ups. I WANT IT ALL. i walk into the gym knowing that im doing 150lbs. single arm dumbbell rows and feeling like the devil himself the whole time. "look at my smile baby ear to fucking ear." its great for my motivation and drive and I know that even if I have a crappy workout the next two days I at least got my pride and joy under my belt. But men we must work all parts equal! we are building a fortress not a work of art. let us not neglect the weaker muscles or they will be feed to the wolves and eaten. muscle food chain. cycle of life shit.

now this is a happy family.

consider this post just a reminder to spread your gains evenly throughout. don't get too caught up trying to have the biggest arms or chest in the gym. we all know those are the ones everybody sees and those are the measuring sticks for DYEL. one of the hardest parts of getting into powerlifting and general strength and size gains is you have to pay a lot of attention to your lower back and legs. ya gotta stay proportioned. 

It is in my opinion and experience that absolute best way to get serious size and mass is make the squat and the deadlift your primary focus. make these the cornerstones of your routine and pepper the other lifts to enhance definition. I know it sounds weird. i'm doing lower body to get a bigger upper body? ...da fuq outta here. but im telling you it works! since I shifted focus into my squat game i am visibly bigger and stronger. You know how when you look in the mirror and you see a shriveled little foreskin of a man because you are your harshest critic? even if your peers are complementing you and telling you how impressive your size gains are you just don't see it. Well since squatting and deadlifting have become my primary concerns all other muscle groups have grown. its pretty fun. give it a try. just 3 weeks is all I ask.

stay grim and hit the gym.

even Bill Dauterive does legs.

FEAST

before you read any further is mandatory to watch this :30 clip of Iron Mike post fight. put on your short shorts, buttchug your pre-workout and crank this shit up full volume.  GAAAAH! are you fucking kidding me? are you ready to just start moshin?! theres gonna be some hard pittin' in the gym TONIGHT!

Chipotle is the breast milk of alpha male weight lifters.

eating fucking rules. one awesome thing about being a powerlifter or heavy lifter is you generally can disregard all nutrition labels. fuck em. just like in life you gotta crush everything that stands in your way. the more you eat, the more your muscles have to work with. consume as much as possible as often as possible through out the day and you will start creating that foundation. lifting hard and not eating enough is the downfall of most people. the secret to your mass and size lies in your food. 

for many years throughout my lifting journey I robbed myself of much needed calories. I never did a bulk or any sort of diet that would increase my size. I ate really healthy and very weird compared to my peers. I had solid muscles and a good frame but I was never as big as I wanted to be. my heaviest on this diet was 205 and I thought that was as big as I would be. I accepted the fact that my metabolism is high speed and that I burned more than I could handle. turns out I was eating the right things just not eating enough of it.  

eating should feel like a chore at times. you have to do it even when you don't want to. you should have food handy at all times. you should be thinking ahead to your next meal and what it will be. I carry almonds, peanut butter, and protein bars in my car because I never know when im gonna get stuck in traffic or at work and not make it to my next planned snack/meal in two hours. "the best offense is a good defense." or some shit like that.

an example of what I eat through out the workday:

wake up: black coffee / glass of whole milk / bowl of plain oatmeal w/ blueberries

breakfast: 5 boiled eggs or 6 scrambled eggs / banana or kiwi / a sausage biscuit from BK / plain greek yogurt / natural peanut butter sandwich / cheese stick

pre workout: protein bar / almonds / sugar free energy drink

(I have started lifting on my lunch break to combat my PTSD related sleep problems. I actually highly recommend it for anyone who finds their energy levels crashing in the afternoon at work or people with difficulty sleeping at night. It has done wonders for my work production and mood.) 

post workout: protein shake / gatorade 

lunch: two chicken breasts / rice or noodles /  OR burger king 1 double cheese burger / 1 bacon cheese burger / small fries / 4 piece chicken nugget (its just over 5 bucks and has roughly 1200 calories.)

snack: glass of milk / protein bar or beef jerky / almonds OR oatmeal

dinner: usually some kind of chicken with lots of veggies (spinach, mushrooms, broccoli, red and yellow peppers) / rice or noodles 

before bed: cottage cheese / a pint or two of chocolate milk OR 3-4 boiled eggs 

that is a no shit menu for me almost daily. ask my wife our grocery shopping and bank statements are very predictable.

it does vary depending if its the weekend or if my workday is fucking crazy as hell. thats why i keep a huge tub of mass gainer and a tub of oatmeal in my office on stand by. in case I cant get away for lunch iv'e got a 1,000 calories of stuff that just needs water added and my caloric intake is met.

will you go steady with me?

this is your ball and chain. take it with you where ever you go. a water source should be on stand by at all times. i drink a gallon a day sometimes more. but no matter what I am staying hydrated throughout the day. i cant stress enough the importance of ditching sodas and juices for water. its great for your skin, gives you energy, flushes out toxins, prevents headaches, curbs bad eating habits, gives you something to do, and keeps your breath fresh. not one single bad thing was listed there. so if you aren't drinking water than thats on you brother.

tuna bro.

tuna is an awesome source of protein but doesn't have a whole lot of fat so when I eat tuna I put avocado slices on it. I have been eating tuna for 10+ years. it use to be all i ate. I have eaten enough tuna for 2 lifetimes. one time in Afghanistan we were on some crazy ass mission/movement and ate nothing but packaged tuna for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 8 straight days. woof. it was terrible. since then ive pumped the brakes on my tuna intake and usually avoid it because im mentally scared from eating so much of it. when I eat it now its sashimi style at a restaurant. then I go HAM on it. like 10 pieces at a time.

Kobayashi with them nice gains. white Obama on the right.

lamb is the preferred animal to consume for godless heathens.

the Tom Cruise of personal trainers.

I talk a lot of shit on cross fit but really its not THAT bad. done properly with good weight and a badass diet I have seen some hulk looking dudes. cross-fit is huge in the military. every goddamn officer and soldier thinks they are some kind of globo gym expert. they are taking up all the squat racks with their olympic bars loaded up with 10 25 pound plates that are designed to look like 45's. cheap move buster. I appreciate that is rooted in actual hard work and promotes vomiting. Its just such a lame gym trend and so "PG" that I find the whole cult very off putting. bitch you are not a cult. unless there is some kinda of ritualistic sacrifice or droning chant in the name of Satan involved dont cheapen the cult label. also, don't get me started on that kipping pull up. thats the biggest WTF I have ever witnessed in the gym. its almost as bad as the elliptical machine. Plus it makes people feel the need to dress up like fucking Lost Boys from Hook. bro you will never be as cool as Rufio. step off.

stay grim and hit the gym.

WOLF OF BLOOD AND IRON

someone snapped a photo of me walking to the squat rack.

I want to update this thing regularly but im honestly not sure of what to write about most of the time. Need to create a better plan and layout for posts so they stay frequent. This blog is like the platform for a bigger plan i have in the works. Im looking to eventually take off into a strength and conditioning business when i graduate college. Im torn between a career S&C or nursing school. Im applying for nursing school in the fall and have almost all the pre-reqs met to apply. So based on how well I do with the interviews and tests ill take it from there. Ideally though BMF is my little strongman fetus that I want to grow into a strong and healthy "adult" business or company. Till then im kinda just floating around and whipping up people who want to get big, strong, and smell like bacon.

end of boring life talk. lets talk muscle mass and hard shit.

I am Kid Rock right now because "SOMEBODY'S GOTTA FEEL THIS! i stumbled upon this by accident last week and have watched it four times since then. Its a 20 min Vice documentary on Icelandic strongmen. I was completely oblivious to this shit and i have no idea how! I'm like most dudes who watched these competitions on ESPN at random times growing up but never really looked into it. Who knew that one tiny country of 300,000 people could give us so many vikings?! These guys fucking rule and that gym they train at is called "The Nest of Giants"!? fucking primal. scope that huge ass sign on the wall that says NO PUSSIES! I am willing to bet my entire paycheck that these men have never heard the word cross-fit or elliptical. also, would travel to that country just to tail gate/pre-game in the parking lot. full on grilling meat, playing corn hole, yelling "WOO" and "YEAH BABY" while drinking energy drinks and listening to Bolt Thrower out of the trunk of a energy efficient euro rental car.

This gem should be standard watching for all power lifters, meat heads, and guys with muscle. its called "Power Unlimited" It is a 2 hour long documentary on the history of power lifting. simply incredible what these guys were doing. no neon colors, no expensive gym accessories, just raw lifting. this is a time where your pre-workout drink was a line of PCP and watching rape porn. very inspiring. great segments on some of the all time greats including the original bad boy of weight lifting Lee Moran. It also talks about some of the women who came up during this time. Surprisingly it was really cool to see the female side of this sport. If you don't watch the whole thing at least spend 5 minutes and watch from the 9:40 mark the footage and story unfold of Moran squatting 1,003lbs. its insane! i mean you get the back story on it and you are just blown away. i wont spoil it but its fucking cool.

In my never ending quest to bring danger and aggression back into the gym i give you Coroner - Masked Jackal. This track and video kill. If lifting weights were put into music it would sound a lot like this. We need to take back the weight room from these bullshit fitness chains and fruity neon road vest wearing fruit loops. Dubstep and deep house trance music does not belong in the weight room. You shouldn't walk into a gym and feel like you are shopping for clothes. You should be mildly offended at the lack of sanitation. There should be more 45lb plates than fans, hand sanitizing stations, and *gulp* treadmills. (it physically pains me to say that) HARD ROCK should be bumping from the speakers. guys should be yelling and playing air guitar when they are not on the rack. Do you think the founding fathers of weightlifting were listening to culture club or KC & The Sunshine band when they were about to PR?! fuck no. HEAVY METAL and HEAVY LIFTING.

Even though i declared that only heavy metal belongs in the weigh troom i would be an ass hat to not include this Grammy worthy country song from 1985 called "Pump Iron" by Bob Couch. This is why the internet was invented. for shit like this. The music video is so working class alpha that it makes my balls hurt. This guy was like 30 years ahead of his time. the take away after watching this video is your family and chores are trivial. Nothing matters except working out. Disregard everything that is not a weight bench or source of protein and acquire muscles. Its simply a work of art. Believe it or not I am friends with this guy. I promoted his video on Facebook and every forum for so long he actually got in touch with me to say thank you. He wound up getting a huge spike in views and briefly gained a little resurgence. He even wrote me a letter when I was in Afghanistan and is a huge supporter of the military. Hes older now and obviously not in the same shape but hes still a beast and is a nice dude. we speak every few months. Id like to think i am his internet agent.  Bob Couch for President.

BONUS CONTENT: Chapel "Satans Rock-n-Roll" one of my favorite bands and their whole album is a huge pick me up when its lift day. fast, hard, and evil. Its like the bastard child of Motorhead and jail sentence. highly recommended.

stay grim.

MOTIVATION

motivated for Satan.

Today I wanna talk about motivation.  Motivation is a big part of what we do. IMO it’s the biggest. It is essential for every strongman, power lifter, weightlifter, bodybuilder, hard body, and beefcake to have motivation to tackle the day’s lifts. It is what gets us off our firm asses and into the gym after a hard day of work (or a hard night of drinking.) Everyone struggles with motivation. Even the most chiseled hunk with perfect form and technique has days, even weeks, where they are burnt out and not feeling it. This is a totally normal thing and whether you have weird amounts of motivation or none of it it’s ok. Just gotta get our heads back on track and grind it out.

Let’s face it unless you are getting paid to be in top physical shape then you have another life besides getting huge. Don’t fool yourself. That life is important but it is not as important as getting thick, solid, and tight. I wanna break down a typical workday of mine for you.  Much like most of you I work long days with erratic hours and large amounts of time away from home/gym. I am in the Army. More importantly I am in the Infantry. It’s a physically and mentally demanding job that requires a lot of me as a person.  I am the trigger puller. The front lines in the war. Boots on the ground running and gunning. Not everyone in the Army is killing motherfuckers. Quite the opposite, 98% of the Army is just support elements for what I do. They sit behind desks, shuffle papers, make rules, and move things around so that the Infantry can do the best job possible. It by no means an elite job. Any warm body will do but those who work hard and push themselves create a separation and thus a swagger that is usually backed up by a fit appearance.

I wake up at 4:40am and am at work by 5:50am. At 0630 we do PT (physical training) for an hour and a half. So right away I have got a “workout” under my belt by 0800. I do this every day Mon-Friday. It’s not an option. I have to do it. The rest of the work day is filled with random stuff and training that im not going to bore you with but the workday usually ends for me at 1700-1800 (5 to 6pm).Tthen I drive 30 mins. home and still got gotta get my lift in. I’m at the gym by 730pm. I have dinner and am ready to for bed by 10pm.  Repeat that all over again the next day. It sucks but its life. I know many other people with different professions who also work hard, demanding jobs with long hours so this is not exclusively my problem. Like bros working 12 hour days of hard labor and awkward tan lines or nurses and paramedics who work 24hr swing shifts. The struggle is real.

Sometimes my physical training is a 6 mile run (barf) which isn’t really that bad. That’s usually a chill day. Other times it’s fucking rough. Carrying wooden logs on my back in the pouring rain or snow, climbing walls and ropes, doing stair climbs till I barf, thousands of push-ups etc…. That is not an exaggeration.

Check this shit out. Last week we had a PT event for my company. Roughly 80 dudes all doing that same thing in teams trying to race and out-do one another. This was the event….

17 burpees

17 cruches

17 squats

17 lunges each leg

17 push ups

My 8 man team then grabbed two 10 gallons water cans, a giant wooden tree log, and two bags filled with sand. We ran 1.5 miles to an obstacle course and did all of that I listed above plus 17 pull ups, 17 dips, climb a 30 ft. rope, climb over a 10ft. wall, climb a 30 ft. cargo net, and knock out 17 sit-ups. We grabbed all our stuff, ran a mile, and did it again. After that we grabbed our stuff, ran a mile, did it again. Grabbed our stuff, ran a mile, did it again. Grabbed our stuff, ran a mile, did it again. You see what im getting at? It fucking sucked. At 0800 it was over and I was hurting. But that was just the end of PT. I still had to start the workday at 0930.

This is not me bragging or saying “look how tough I am”. This is just the facts. It’s part of my job. Despite that I still had to make time for the gym in the evening in order to stay on track with my Smolov Squat Routine. You may recall my previous post about the end of traditional cardio. Dont mistake my forced running and crossfit like morning routine for weakness in the powerlifting game. This is shit I have to do. Combating the loss of muscle and size is always an uphill battle when every asshole with rank wants to run a 5k every morning. The army is festering with all kinds of "Master Fitness Leaders". Yes that is a real title. 

 

pre-deadlift max ritual.

Now you can see where the motivation comes in. It’s easier to say fuck it, quit, and post up on your futon watching TV or getting trapped into a wormhole on Wikipedia. It’s harder to take a rest, butt chug some pre workout and throw some heavy ass weight around for 90 mins.

I am not some half assed personal trainer fitness guru who is going to tell you it’s easy. Bullshit. It’s not easy and it’s not suppose to be. Whipping your candy ass into Steak Shape takes a lot of work. You gotta want it bad.  Motivation gets you in the door, but action gets you the results.

  

Here are a few tips and tricks to make your balls drop. I use all of these methods. Some of them will work for you one time and not work the next time. That’s why it’s crucial to have an arsenal of motivational tricks at your disposal. You never know which one will create the friction, which lights the spark, and starts the fire.

The obvious one is is Pre-Workout. Canned motivation.  Pre-workout supplements were designed specifically for people who are gassed from work or life and need that substance ass kick to start moving. They fucking work bros but only if used properly. If you spent your whole workday butt chugging 20 oz. Extreme Green Turbo Arctic Blizzard Moonfrost  Monsters
(with electrolytes) then a pre-workout will do nothing but make you shit and give you an anxiety attack. It’s important to avoid large doses of caffeine throughout the day. I have two cups of coffee in the morning and then that is usually my last caffeine intake until my pre workout before my lift. I use Neon Volt Pre- Workout. Tastes good, doesn’t last too long, and is relatively affordable compared to most pre-workouts.

 Nergal drinking the ultimate pre-workout...blood.

Don’t rely to heavy on pre-work outs. Use ‘em for a few months then taper off. Switch to black coffee and almonds. Its very easy for your body to build a tolerance to them. What once got you high with one scoop will soon take four scoops. Get it together cracky. I see too many guys refuse to lift unless they get pre workout. They convince themselves that they cannot lift without the aid of some caffeine infused pixie sticks. Like the goddamn weightlifting equivalent of Trainspotting or Requiem for A Dream. 

this TV will get us two bottles of the old school Jack3d. i know a guy.

YouTube. A gift to all of us in need of a jolt. I watch videos when I’m feeling BLEH. Videos of my favorite wrestlers (The Rock, Stone Cold, Razor Ramone or anyone from the nWo/Degeneration-X era if you must know), Rugby training videos, college football teams in the weight room, videos of Zyzz, the video of some black guy giving a speech about wanting it bad and filling your soul while black and white footage of some Juicehead is throwing up in a bucket after deadlifting a Volvo, soldiers killing mother fuckers in Iraq and Afghanistan (srs), fucking guys with no arms squatting 400 pounds. Videos along those lines will get your head in the right place. I find they make you start thinking about working out when you were originally thinking about why they stopped making 3D Doritos.

Trolling Instagram is pretty helpful for me. Hashtag searching squats, deadlifts, powerlifter will get you lost in a maze of hard bodies. Once you see some dudes puttin’ in that work and posting their results you’ll get angry that those bros are one upping you in the gains department.  You better hustle up or they might be the next dude at the bar/club/pool/concert that everyone is mirin’ instead of you.

Another really amazing thing about IG is that you can connect with all kinds of lifters from all walks and all places of the earth. Ive found an awesome community of lifters who have been not only inspiring but also incredibly generous with information and ideas. Everyone is supportive of each others gains, PR's, and physiques. I have never even personally met most of them and likely never will but that is besides the point. Its great to meet people from all over who have the like minded weight crushing, muscle building mentality I do.

please put this on my tombstone.

 

Looking at yourself in the mirror and realizing that whether you die a healthy 100 year old man or in a freak gasoline fight accident you are one day closer to death. Not trying to get Dr. Phil deep on here but it’s the truth man. No one likes a guy who says “I use to…da dadada” or “I should have done…da dadada”. Fucking boooring. Gimme the guys who are like “I can do….dadada” or “I already did this and now im going to do that”. Make the most of your time because you aint getting any younger buster. Im 30 now and if I knew half of what I know about health and fitness when I was 21 I could probably just retire from weightlifting and coast out the rest of my existence enjoying my gains like a well invested 401k plan.

The last motivation trick is this….stop feeling sorry for yourself. No one cares. Hike up your skirt, quit patting your pussy, and get to work man. Even if it’s just 30 mins. in the gym that’s 30 mins. closer to achieving what  you want. Stronger everyday is the head game you need to have. Push forward, don’t fall back.  

Shut up, Old Man! I ain't goin' nowhere. Why don't you tell all these nice folks why you been duckin' me? Politics, man. This country want to keep me down. Keep everybody weak. They don't want me to have the title because I'm not a puppet like that fool up there.- Clubber Lang.

  

seriously. don't even think about breaking that oath.