Super Joint Ritual drank cheap beer and smoked some dank weed nuggets with Dismember at a euro dive bar in Sweden. outside a couple of American dudes were waiting. when the bands were too drunk to fuck they parted ways to their respective tour buses. the Americans snuck in through the back and ferociously collected the half smoked roaches and unfinished back wash beer bottles like precious, vintage, hand numbered, test press, record release vinyl. afterwards they giddily sniffed their seats, took their trophies, and flew back to America inspired. that is how Gatecreeper formed.
this track goes hard in the crease and its not even their best song. the whole EP fits nicely into any bench press or shoulder pressing routine. the real strong point to this release is the quality of the recording. this does not sound like a first release/demo. it sounds like release number three or four of a seasoned band of headbangers at the climax of their crushing career. CAUTION: nothing less than 225lbs on the bar when benching to this. also the riffage is so tasty that it is rumored to add 15lbs to your current set when PR'ing so keep that in mind. highly recommended for anyone who's interest include: cinder blocks, undershirts as outerwear, sledgehammers, industrial strength power tools, and felonies.
bonus points for all five guys in the band taking on metal head persona's. (Ted Nugent southern rocker who is likely the most talented guy in the band, industrial working class goth, old school thrasher, the guy with a beard who likes Pantera, and the pizza party skater looking Asian fisherman) they look like strangers who met on Craigslist a day before the video shoot but somehow still pull it off.
honorable mention for the dark sided hunk singer with his strong Trent Reznor stage presence circa "Hand That Feeds" video.
this album cover is what kids push moshing in a Slipknot pit think they look like. worm two-step and maggot mosh.
the band is Gatecreeper from Arizona. check out their album here or just search them on YouTube like you would do if I didn't include a link.
bring me the heads of all betas and skinny fats.
Absu. fuck! I cannot get enough of this band right now. I have a murder boner. I practically forgot about them and haven't jammed them in like three years. then I was reminded in a IG post from a buddy who good they are. imagine Skeletonwitch if they took themselves 5x more serious. these dudes are out there man. they are drinking the kool-aid. I picture them sleeping in coffins even when no one is looking. Its one of the only black metal(ish) bands who's lyrics read like a fucking page out of a middle earth spell book. I enjoy their lyrics almost as much as their music. while I celebrate the entire catalog I recommend their three most recent albums which are available on Spotify. GET THESE DUDES IN YOUR PLAYLIST. gains will follow.
scope this Absu album The Sun of Tipharethevery. every possible metal cliche in one album cover. this dude is the bastard child of Bathorys Under The Sign Of The Black Mark.
bro do you even worship?
duh. we all know Behemoth. first, if you lift you will listen to Behemoth. that is not an option, that is mandatory. second, get over yourself if you think its lame to like them because they R lik mainstream and not tr00. the speed and intensity of this album is untouchable. a 240B machine gun is the understudy for their drummer.
I have a special place in my heart for this record because it was all I listened too when I first picked up the weights and joined Cheetah Gym in Wicker Park Chicago back in 2007. I was possessed. honed in and focused. I hope that it will do the same for you. I listened to cheese death-core and crew cut hardcore before this release. I was pg-13 in my music life until this record. When I found this and Decapitated's "Organic Hallucinations" I was a changed man. once again, all records from this band are ripe and ready for picking. not a bad release. they never went through some self absorbed experimental drone/melodic phase. I like to believe that dangerous music still exists. stuff like this that you will play for people and show them the album covers and they will be offended/disgusted at the content. I hope some boring mall core skinny fat kid gets his hands on this record and starts fappin' violently. Behemoth still does it for me bros. she is my mistress. my go to main bad bitch. respect your elders and embrace the face melting qualities of Behemoth's "Demigod" or suffer the muscle mass loss.
we out chea'
is that Charles Manson?!
if social media never existed then how would this man stay relevant in the mating game? I tell you fucking how. feign an allergy to t shirts. I fucking looooove in shape old dudes. they are truly leading from the front and setting the example. old dudes are our leaders. they laid the groundwork for us and expect us to carry their torch. they were getting the gains in before you could document them in photo format to share with the world/anyone who gives a shit. I would Wayne's World kneel at this man Excalibur style and say "they will be mine. or yes....his gains will be mine."
this is an Alpha in disguise. do not take the bait men. while we ideally want to surround ourselves with other like minded Alphas he is one to avoid. yes, his gains are
admirable and yes his forearms match his bicep pump but never and I MEAN NEVER trust a man who pays more attention to his biceps then his legs. if any ladies read this blog please take note. I judge women on the care of their feet. if a girl does not take care of her feet, she will not take care of her man. this is borderline science proven fact. If your toes look like dolphin throw up then BYE FELICA!. don't get cocky bros. your legs better match your attitude. you cant show command and control with legs that look like wet bread. ladies should judge men on their lower body dedication. #realtalk
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