Super Joint Ritual drank cheap beer and smoked some dank weed nuggets with Dismember at a euro dive bar in Sweden. outside a couple of American dudes were waiting. when the bands were too drunk to fuck they parted ways to their respective tour buses. the Americans snuck in through the back and ferociously collected the half smoked roaches and unfinished back wash beer bottles like precious, vintage, hand numbered, test press, record release vinyl. afterwards they giddily sniffed their seats, took their trophies, and flew back to America inspired. that is how Gatecreeper formed.
this track goes hard in the crease and its not even their best song. the whole EP fits nicely into any bench press or shoulder pressing routine. the real strong point to this release is the quality of the recording. this does not sound like a first release/demo. it sounds like release number three or four of a seasoned band of headbangers at the climax of their crushing career. CAUTION: nothing less than 225lbs on the bar when benching to this. also the riffage is so tasty that it is rumored to add 15lbs to your current set when PR'ing so keep that in mind. highly recommended for anyone who's interest include: cinder blocks, undershirts as outerwear, sledgehammers, industrial strength power tools, and felonies.
bonus points for all five guys in the band taking on metal head persona's. (Ted Nugent southern rocker who is likely the most talented guy in the band, industrial working class goth, old school thrasher, the guy with a beard who likes Pantera, and the pizza party skater looking Asian fisherman) they look like strangers who met on Craigslist a day before the video shoot but somehow still pull it off.
honorable mention for the dark sided hunk singer with his strong Trent Reznor stage presence circa "Hand That Feeds" video.
this album cover is what kids push moshing in a Slipknot pit think they look like. worm two-step and maggot mosh.
the band is Gatecreeper from Arizona. check out their album here or just search them on YouTube like you would do if I didn't include a link.
bring me the heads of all betas and skinny fats.
Absu. fuck! I cannot get enough of this band right now. I have a murder boner. I practically forgot about them and haven't jammed them in like three years. then I was reminded in a IG post from a buddy who good they are. imagine Skeletonwitch if they took themselves 5x more serious. these dudes are out there man. they are drinking the kool-aid. I picture them sleeping in coffins even when no one is looking. Its one of the only black metal(ish) bands who's lyrics read like a fucking page out of a middle earth spell book. I enjoy their lyrics almost as much as their music. while I celebrate the entire catalog I recommend their three most recent albums which are available on Spotify. GET THESE DUDES IN YOUR PLAYLIST. gains will follow.
scope this Absu album The Sun of Tipharethevery. every possible metal cliche in one album cover. this dude is the bastard child of Bathorys Under The Sign Of The Black Mark.
bro do you even worship?
duh. we all know Behemoth. first, if you lift you will listen to Behemoth. that is not an option, that is mandatory. second, get over yourself if you think its lame to like them because they R lik mainstream and not tr00. the speed and intensity of this album is untouchable. a 240B machine gun is the understudy for their drummer.
I have a special place in my heart for this record because it was all I listened too when I first picked up the weights and joined Cheetah Gym in Wicker Park Chicago back in 2007. I was possessed. honed in and focused. I hope that it will do the same for you. I listened to cheese death-core and crew cut hardcore before this release. I was pg-13 in my music life until this record. When I found this and Decapitated's "Organic Hallucinations" I was a changed man. once again, all records from this band are ripe and ready for picking. not a bad release. they never went through some self absorbed experimental drone/melodic phase. I like to believe that dangerous music still exists. stuff like this that you will play for people and show them the album covers and they will be offended/disgusted at the content. I hope some boring mall core skinny fat kid gets his hands on this record and starts fappin' violently. Behemoth still does it for me bros. she is my mistress. my go to main bad bitch. respect your elders and embrace the face melting qualities of Behemoth's "Demigod" or suffer the muscle mass loss.
we out chea'
is that Charles Manson?!
if social media never existed then how would this man stay relevant in the mating game? I tell you fucking how. feign an allergy to t shirts. I fucking looooove in shape old dudes. they are truly leading from the front and setting the example. old dudes are our leaders. they laid the groundwork for us and expect us to carry their torch. they were getting the gains in before you could document them in photo format to share with the world/anyone who gives a shit. I would Wayne's World kneel at this man Excalibur style and say "they will be mine. or yes....his gains will be mine."
this is an Alpha in disguise. do not take the bait men. while we ideally want to surround ourselves with other like minded Alphas he is one to avoid. yes, his gains are
admirable and yes his forearms match his bicep pump but never and I MEAN NEVER trust a man who pays more attention to his biceps then his legs. if any ladies read this blog please take note. I judge women on the care of their feet. if a girl does not take care of her feet, she will not take care of her man. this is borderline science proven fact. If your toes look like dolphin throw up then BYE FELICA!. don't get cocky bros. your legs better match your attitude. you cant show command and control with legs that look like wet bread. ladies should judge men on their lower body dedication. #realtalk
fucking knee braces OVER his denim pants which are tucked into his white socks which are inside Catapillar boots. The outfit is so advanced that you are completely oblivious there is a fucking full kindergarten class of children on his shoulders. dude went from the iron mill to the weight room and said "rack em up RJ." no prep time. no pre-workout. no ipod. no expensive road sign yellow dri-fit x3 anti-fatigue stretch shirt. just a gnarly dude farting out reps. do I spy a gold hoop earring? you cant tame this wild man! Let it be known that if Guy (capitalized because that is probably his name) in the background was in a separate photo he would have his own caption. He is some wolf hybrid of a 12 year old fat kid, a collegiate rower, and olympic weightlifter. his submission to "kvlt" gym wear is noted and appreciated but its hard to compete with Al Borland of Home Improvement meets New Jersey union worker look.
If anything else....comfort over all else. few know the pleasure of dead lifting a horse in a velour bathrobe. the overalls are strictly for protection of the investment from rusted iron. I didn't even know bathrobes without sleeves was an option. Obviously they have a taste for the finer things. peep that Oshkosh-B'gosh logo. I feel like someone super imposed the face of a modern day cross-fit/Tough Mudder guy onto the body of hotel room.
of all the alpha looks featured on this post this one is by far the one I want to see in 2014. He is a real life video game character. the dude is a walking Street Fighter Guile. CAPCOM no doubt pays royalties to this man. im still anticipating the bleached flat top come back.
I dont know 100% who this is but im thinking its the dude from Manowar. If ever there was one human who embraced the love of metal and iron equally it would be this man. It physically pains him that he cannot carry a sword every day. he is the next wave of thrash. watch, all these modern hardcore thrash metal bands that are really into bent mesh hats, acid washed jeans, Budweiser and battle vests will start trading that shit for weightlifting, chokers, wrist wear, tanning, and John Stamos level hair. this guy is Black Metal Fitness personified.
not sure who is gayer? the gay porn stars who just grunt fugged each other rotten 10 minutes prior to photo or us gym jock meat heads for mentally critiquing their physiques while simultaneously MIRIN' them gains. ima let that one marinate.
while on the topic of gay men. let us have a gander at this look of muscle, mane, and mustache. It has taken the mainstream by storm. you see it in every fashion mag and on every girls Pintrest account filed under"my panties are wet. what a hunk". here is your late pass white America/all of Europe. gays have been celebrating this look for like 30 fucking years. gay dudes are men. they like men. they want men. so in turn they know what men should look like. do you know why gay men have embraced this look? because its fucking mainly. its near perfect blend of clean, wild, hairy, and fit. now mind you is very easy to take this look from Alpha to Asshole reeeeeal fucking easy. unfortunately more often then not its done wrong. the reason this look works is because all three are in place. its a trifecta of testosterone. beard and hair with out the muscle? euro hipster douche. beard and muscle without the hair? just another balding buster with a beard. keep moving tubby there are a million more of you working cubicle customer service jobs.
even though I championed the look of the clean cut metro as being the premier alpha look, there is something to be said about the muscled long hair rocker. I know from my time before the Army when I was a long haired, weight lifting, metal head that this look will get you laid. if you hang around the dive bar, drunk every single night till 4am, "alternative" crowd you're are shoe in for strange talent. you are every suburban girls fantasy. the modern day bad boy! this look says "yeah I care...but I don't really care...whatever just count my push ups so i can win this bet". I always harp on primal and you don't get more primal than this.
well there you have it. a touch of alpha from days past and a touch of alpha from the present. you don't know where you're going if you don't know where you've been. but you dont want to be that turd who only likes "first wave" gym wear. embrace the forefathers of gym wear. pick up where they left off and carry the torch of intimidating masculine appearance so that a new generation of n00bz can bear witness. strength doesn't come from over priced bullshit "athletic apparel". it comes from eating lots of good food, lifting heavy things, and protecting what is yours.
stay grim and hit the gym.
all photos featured on this post were stolen from Tumblr without permission because those photos were stolen and used without permission. fuck it.
fire walk with me into my kitchen. I tried to get an accurate representation of my fridge on a normal week. so I didn't plan, pose, or hide anything. We do grocery shopping two-three times a week to keep our fruits and vegetables fresh so its not a vegans wet dream in here but know that I eat veggies with every meal made at home. I am still learning a lot about nutrition on a scientific level. I'm pretty anxious to begin my next semester at school because all four classes are exclusive to biology, nutrition, anatomy, and chemistry. I hope to start incorporating more reasons to eat certain foods instead of recommendations.
this is my random "fruit and veggie" basket. it stays in front of my toaster. here we have bananas, tomatoes, avocados, chia seeds for protein shakes, chocolate covered acacia berries, and milk bones for the dog.
top of the fridge. this is the American Idol of your kitchen. your putting it all out for the world to see. you gotta come correct. what is put on display here will instantly let the observer know just how serious you are about your diet. never trust a weightlifter who's top of their fridge is more Justin Guarini and less Kelly Clarkson. serious mass protein used for cooking pancakes, shakes, and my "power pudding", my protein is the Thor of the kitchen. Trader Joe's whole grain O's is next. very pacific northwestern, a jar of no sugar granola I mix in my plain greek yogurt, 100% plain oatmeal, amino energy mix I drink in the morning before PT if my stomach is a little too queezy for coffee, fish oil vitamins, and behind that (not pictured) is a container of long grain rice ready for cooking.
freezer: I have the Amy's pizzas ready for cheat meals or when Im drinking and am too lazy to cook, the entire top rack all the way in the back is chicken breasts trimmed of fat and individually zip-locked. tough to see but trust me there is a shit load of frozen chicken breasts up there,gotta have those on deck. Daves Killer Bread is the best bread ever created. a little expensive but I promise you that after you eat their bread you will never go back 8g of protein per slice! below that is some frozen fish, and of course the booze. two bottles of vodka and a handle of rum that has been there untouched since our house warming party over a year ago. Rum is evil. loaded with sugar its IMO one of the worst things you could drink if you are serious about weightlifting. I drink vodka & ice water. the lowest calorie adult drink you can have while ensuring you are staying hydrated and dodging that hangover.
freezer door: top shelf is blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries. also some frozen edamame, high in soy protein and highly recommended snack. bottom shelf is two things of frozen greek yogurt for my pregnant wife, sweet potato fries, and three boxes of frozen mahi-mahi and talapia. I try to alternate between fish and chicken for dinner.
fridge door: low fat cream cheese, canola oil butter, lemon and lime juice, stone ground mustard, horseradish, low fat cheese sticks, all natural peanut butter, balsamic vingerette, all natural low sugar blueberry syrup, and more mustard in the back. bottom: gallon of skim milk, half gallon of almond milk, non fat vanilla creamer for coffee, random low sugar sauces like BBQ and teriyaki.
here is my pantry: our kitchen is pretty small so this is just above the toaster. whole grain pasta shells and noodles, no butter popcorn 100 calorie packs, Dave's Killer Bread, baking soda, whole fiber pancake ideal for using with protein pancakes, bags of almonds, low sugar syrup, tuna packs in the far back, second shelf: Japanese miso soup mix (ideal for broths when you cook with chicken), a box of protein bars for snacking, marshmallows....i love mallows. they are a mainstay in my house. whenever I get a sweet craving i just eat 3-4 of them and that usually curbs my craving, assorted green and black teas. top shelf: more green tea, jar of pretzels, packs of no sugar desert gum, random rices and Japanese spices. that stuff up there is mostly in Japanese so that is kinda my wife's lane.
just a look at the food in my house. maybe you got some ideas or were reminded of something you want to try. I did not take a picture of the inside of my fridge because I honestly forgot. by the time I uploaded these photos and emailed them to myself I was just too lazy. know that its filled with talapia, checkin breasts, spinach, broccoli, mushrooms, cottage cheese, other random veggies, dozens of eggs, turkey breast slices, some random beers, and 100% natural juices.
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
