Friday, July 10, 2015

SATANIC GAINS. some exercises you may be missing out on.

Of the nine circles of Hell the weight room is by far by favorite.
 This post is a collection of some of my all time favorite lifts. Exercises that I always try work into my long range routine. These lifts have either helped me over come injury, improved muscle imbalance, enhanced my physique, or helped me reach a new PR on the REAL lifts. All of the featured lifts here I highly encourage you to try em out. They worked very well for me and I hope the same for you. I will be excluding the Big Three from this list because if you are not tracking those lifts are mandatory for real strength gains then you are hanging out with the wrong people or reading the wrong books. Get new friends and burn your books. 

V BAR PULLDOWN
in this photo the meathead is facing out for photo purposes. When you do this please face toward that machine. Its not necessary to draw attention to yourself in the gym. Let your muscles speak for themselves. BMF does not support the "water cooler runway". Stay in your corner, stay focused, and build your temple.

I rarely see anyone doing this in the gym. Well, I guess I should say "used to." At Rockwell Barbell the boys there know the drill. Before I lifted here I spent many years lifting at all kinds of gyms. Mainly military gyms on post, Cheetah Gym in Chicago, and Anytime Fitness in Olympia WA. Able to get a good read on dudes who were serious and who weren't. Anytime I saw a guy reaching for the v-bar I knew he was die hard.
This variation on the lat pull down has been a blessing for me. I give this exercise almost all the credit for sculpting my back, which I believe to be my strongest and best looking feature of my body. Watch the video below about proper lat pull down technique. This video was very helpful for me. Its short, contains no filler, he knows how to properly speak, and most importantly he is right. The dude hits the nail on the head with his explanation of the best form and why the V-Bar pull down builds a wider lat than the classic pulldown. He spends the later half of the video praising the merits of close grip pulldown and I could not agree more with him.


Another pro for this lift is you can move considerably more weight vs. classic lat pull down. So many guys sell themselves short on their back lifts. You will be surprised at how strong your back actually is. Test yourself and treat this like a deadlift. Get pumped up and dialed in. Attack the lift with hatred. This lift is incredibly satisfying mentally when you move that pin closer and closer to max capacity. 

RECOMMENDED FOR: making your traps cast shadows, making your friends yell out "Shredded Wheat" when they see you from behind, and getting that "tree stump" muscle in the middle of your back.

PRO TIP: Don't get into the mindset that accessory lifts are easy lifts. Treat every exercise as an extension of your strongest lift. Get serious and make yourself sweat. No exercise you preform in the weight room should be treated as Hotel Collection 1,000 Thread Count Egyptian Cotton 4-piece Bedding Set.


REAR DELT MACHINE 
Dude is so buff his head is fucking outside the frame of the photo. Muscles that transcend space and time....IM MIRIN'

Its not often that I give praise to the machines so if I do then you know its legit. This one really helped me overcome a nagging shoulder injury. For about a year and a half I could not do flat bench barbell work. Even 135lbs sent my shoulder screaming. I was forced to admit that the pain was to real and severe to push through. The cruel and unforgiving Iron Lords banished me to the wasteland of dumbells. Toiling among common folk, 5- day biceps bros, and iPhone curlers. It was weird and it sucked. Being robbed of glory from one of the "Original Six" lifts was embarrassing. I was turned onto this lift from one of my elite Army brothers. It is fun to do because after just one set your entire rear delt looks like a tumor. This muscle just activates and grows immediately.

My shoulder injury actually healed early on but I did not realize it because I was still feeling pain. Turns out I had over developed front delts. This is actually quite common. I spent three weeks incorporating this lift on all shoulder and chest days. Its like i was touched by the noodley appendage of the Spag Monster himself. I was cured. I went back to the flat bench after 18 months off and it was like someone gave me a new shoulder. Since then I have been very conscious over my rear delts and always keep them active. 

You can do DB bent over lateral raises if you do not have access to this machine but I warn you if your form is even a little off you will completely miss the rear delt. R. delt is a tricky son of a bitch. You gotta walk your rounds onto the target. Its different for everybody because every persons build is unique (not special snowflake neat. you are not special or important. Dont confuse my use of unique for your vein attempt to express yourself.) I like the machine because you can adjust the seat and toss a few reps around to zero in on your target muscle. 

RECOMMEND FOR: anyone who has nagging shoulder issues, over developed front delts, people not afraid of machines, men looking to make their T-shirts wear them instead of you wearing the T-shirt.


2 Kettle bell Front Squat
Kettle bells: the new yoga mat.

I am very green to the ways of the kettle bell but I have a keen interest in trying to incorporate them into my future routines. The first and only time so far I have ever used one was for this exercise. Crossfitters have shit and pissed on this vintage piece of strongman iron for the better part of a decade. What use to be synonymous with chest hair and communist Zangiff's in their backyard selling bootleg VHS tapes of their routines has now been reduced to a neon colored paper weight with foam comfort grips and soundproofing padded bottoms that fence walkers swing between their legs for "time" on a padded mat with their coach. Good to see some workhorses taking this back" bag of iron" from those busters.

Absolutely fucking killer. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. This lift fucked me up with some truth that my midsection was weak and my core is a bag wet bread. You feel this activate your entire core on the first rep. Its awesome. Not bullshitting you this is one of the harder exercises I have encountered in all my time in the weight room. Tough to do but man is it rewarding. 


RECOMMENDED FOR: deadlift and squat improvement, core stability, building midsection stamina for big lifts, someone looking to shake up their routine and add something new to the fold. Also suggested for sadomasochists who need to get watery eyed in pain when they jerk off in most positions.


SPRINTS
Rugby butts drive me nuts. Im getting inside of that scrum and never leaving.

I don't really fucks wit cardio. I'm not fast-n-hard anti-cardio, I'm just more along the lines of it has its place and time. That being said if you are craving a sweat sesh after a hard nights drinking, a running junkie who refuses to quit cardio, or looking to turn up your heart rate then sprints are for you. 

Sprints are incredibly beneficial because they directly apply to real world situations and greatly enhance your rate of survival. In your life you will NEVER have to run 6 miles in one direction for ANY REASON other than because you want to. You may at some point in your life have to: sprint from someone trying to attack/rob you, sprint away from gun fire (or toward it depending on profession), sprint to catch the train before it leaves, sprint to the aid of your family or friends when they are in distress, sprint toward your enemy when you spot him inside you sector, sprint toward the TV's at the local mega chain store on black Friday, sprint toward the goal line in football or rugby, sprint off a cliff to get maximum air when you land in that body of water. Do you see what I am getting at here? There is one reason for long distance running. Just one. But just listed of like 7 things for short and fast running. Off top.

Sprints are not a hard sell. They are vital to our survival as a species. Its primal. Its ingrained into our goddamn genetics for fucks sake. (fight-or-flight response)

RECOMMENDED FOR: People who want to live, those who want to enhance the human species,  and poor people.


most of my friends life story.



WEIGHTED PULL-UPS
Further proof that lifting accessories are overrated not necessary to achieve strength.
If you cannot do a single pull-up than skip this lift and reevaluate you entire existence. Weighted pull ups are not only fun but provide just the right amount of challenge. I usually use a 25 or 35 pound weight or dumbbell. You can wrap chains around your neck if you wanna go Prison Yard style, you can hold a dumbbell between your feet, or tie the weight around your waist. so man different ways to do it. If you can do a few pull ups and you want to be able to knock out more than fart out a couple of these every list session despite what muscle group you are hitting. After like wo weeks when you go back to regular pull ups you will feel dramatically lighter. A great way to trick yourself into doing more reps than you think you can. The mind is a very weird thing. Your mind is what holds you back from making a lift 85% of the time. I truly believe that.

RECOMMEND FOR: people who wanna take photos of themselves looking hard, pull-up improvement, and sculpting/building abs,


CHAINS ON FLAT BENCH

Any excuse to use chains in the gym should be taken. They work best with flat bench IMO. I love throwing some chains on the end of the bar after a long bench session. Looking for that burnout bonus. Helps you get past a sticking point you may have in your attempt to achieve a new max. The weight gets lighter as the chains coil on the floor but as you push up the weight increase. The odd size of the weight really makes things interesting when your grinding out the last few reps. Get some!

RECOMMENDED FOR: everyone.


DUMBBELL TRICEP PRESS/EXTENSION
Is this Dana Carvey?
This is a great way to build up intimidating thickness in your arms. Ive been doing these for a long time. I can hit 110lbs. If you have any elbow issues I would either steer clear of this one or only hit a medium weight. Again, this is a lift best served heavy.  You can aggravate your elbows fairly easy when moving heavy weight. I prefer seated because it takes all other muscles out of the picture. You can do this one standing if you'd like. It will activate some of your core and legs. Keep your midsection tight when lifting it while on your feet. That way you are getting a 2-for-1 deal. Don't sell yourself short. Everyone's triceps are incredibly strong and resistant. If you wanna make your arms "fill out" and connect with the other arm muscles for that thick looks then add this to your arsenal.


CLOSE GRIP DUMBBELL PRESS


I don't know whether to place this into triceps or chest. Regardless it hammers each of em. You can almost feel your sternum stretching and widening with each set. My Unholy Trinity brethren Dan (IG: @grateful_dan) and Marino (IG:thatsalotofblood) turned me on to this move. Keep the weights together then move them slow on the downward and explosive on the push up. You can go incline too if you are feeling frosty. These are a good addition to the end of workout. No necessarily a burn out but really requiring every fiber to activate. I get a better pump and burn out of this when I go heavy. I suggest you grab a weight that is about 70% of your ability. In my experience the light weight, while still tough,  just didn't give me the same intensity.

RECOMMEND FOR: end of workout jam session, people who want to build that medial crease in the pecs, people not afraid to die.



"Some people would rather live in shit than be seen holding a shovel. I am not one of them. Pass me that fucking shovel."

screen shot of my mind en route to the gym.

vintage hammer curls.



It just wouldn't be a BMF blog post without a Mad Max, weightlifting, metalhead laying down the heavy metal law among his slave babes. When will this trend cycle back into fashion? The youth need weightlifting metal mentors now more than ever.

The Rockwell Barbell Squad cutting loose on the 4th of July. From left to right: Me aka Satanic Royalty, Marino aka The Muscely Medic, Hugene, Dan aka Prison Wallet or Mexican Henry Rollins, and Lawerence the heart, the black soul, the architect of Rockwell Barbell aka Lars, Big L, or Papa Pump.
 If you are a serious weightlifter, powerlifter, or a beautiful woman who is stronger than all of your girlfriends in or around Chicago and looking for a new weight room applications for the 2015 season to become a Prospect at Rockwell Barbell are now being accepted. Follow us on Instagram if you are trying to sniff out the kind of mentality we are carving. RB is trying to bring some new faces into the fold. Serious inquires only. If you can deadlift a horse or overhead press a human corpse we want to talk to you!  IG: rockwellbarbell


Even if you aren't looking for a new gym come follow us. If you are passing through the city and interested in getting in a few sessions shoot me an email and we will welcome you as our guest. Show this independently owned and operated blue collar gym in Chicago some love. share the profile with all your gay jock cockboy friends who need to get their ass into the proper mentality to build a cold hearted killer.

End of demo.
STAY GRIM AND HIT THE GYM.



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